third
stop thinking of things as options. dont rank them, dont review them, dont put them in a line and decide who is the ugliest.
i think all of it is bad, i think its all gone bad i think the fridge actually stopped working a long time ago and you forgot and you let me put my leftover tuna and you didnt care and it all went bad, even my fennel, even my green beans.
i think ive been too worried about the end. in a way that isnt typical, it more so reflects in my personal approaches to mulling over whatever it is i have in my grasp. forever constantly seeking to find. cursed with the internal clock that drags no matter how high i turn on the oven. might burn the house down. at least i have insurance.
i laugh at all my tasks, and i laugh that im adding on more student debt to the pile because i want to sit in a lecture hall. i dont care if reverting back to my old self makes me an outcast again, i dont think it was as bad as i remember. i think 14 year old me was right about a lot of things. i think who i am now isnt recognizable and im afraid.
dont go back actually, theres one more thing to try and this might sound crazy but it’s gonna work.
are u still out there?